SapphiresScribbles

Somewhere I Belong
by Linkin Park

(When this began)
I had nothin' to say,
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me,
(I was confused)
And I'd let it all out to find,
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind,
(Inside of me)
But all the vacancy the words revealed,
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel,
(Nothin' to lose)
Just stuck,
Hollow and alone,
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own


I wanna heal,
I wanna feel,
What I thought was never real,
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long,
(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)
I wanna heal,
I wanna feel,
Like I am close to something real,
I wanna find something I've wanted all along,
Somewhere I Belong,

And I've got nothin' to say,
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face,
(I was confused)
Lookin' everywhere,
Only to find that it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind,
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity,
'Cause I can't justify the way everyone is lookin' at me,
(Nothin' to lose)
Nothin' to gain,
Hollow and alone,
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own

I wanna heal,
I wanna feel,
What I thought was never real,
I wanna let go of the pain I felt so long
(Erase all the pain 'till it's gone)
I wanna heal,
I wanna feel,
Like I am close to something real,
I wanna find something I wanted all along
Somewhere I Belong

I will never know,
Myself until I do this on my own,
And I will never feel,
Anything else, until my wounds are healed,
I will never be,
Anything 'til I break away from me,
And I will break away,
I'll find myself today,

I wanna heal,
I wanna feel,
What I thought was never real,
I wanna let go of the pain I felt so long,
(Erase all the pain 'till it's gone)
I wanna heal,
I wanna feel,
Like I am close to something real,
I wanna find something I wanted all along,
Somewhere I Belong

I wanna heal,
I wanna feel like I'm
Somewhere I Belong

I wanna heal,
I wanna feel like I'm
Somewhere I Belong

Somewhere I Belong

This song relates to a lot of people...including me. I love this song a ton. All I want is to be in love and have someone love me...to find a place in somewheres heart where I belong. And then I can get my life on track withtthat person. I love you Aaron!

-Lesa

Today is my first volleyball game. As varsity manager, its a LOT of pressure on me...but i just wanna get it over with! I think I'm gonna get something to eat quick...then again, maybe not...it's not really worth it. I hate construction...it takes like 10 more min to get to work than normal....and it SUCKS!
I think I'm gonna hack up a lung sometime during the night too. Gonna go now. I NEED A NAP!
-Lesa

I'm so pissed off right now. Aaron and I had this HUGE plans for tonight...staying up all night, etc....he slept until like 4 AM...and where is he now? in bed...AGAIN! hes "soooo tired" and "just cant keep [his] eyes open" KISS MY ASS! I'm freaking tired too....I stayed up all night waiting for him. and...i hafta get up in two hrs anyway to go to church. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I mean, I understand that he's tired...but SO AM I! I had my heart TOTALLY set on tonight...i even bought a bunch of stuff....and now...it's pointless. I hate being angry at him....but i am! i mean...he promises me a lot of things, but doesnt follow through. like sending me more pics of him....and a box of things from him...and he SAYS we're gonna talk for hrs tomorrow....but we'll see....im seriously NOT getting my hopes up...
I went to the movies with my friend Tom today...he was staying at his girlfriends apartment alone cuz she went back home (she has two houses) and he was totally freaking out...so he called me and we went to see SWAT. It was a pretty good movie...i screamed a lot cuz I'm REALLY jumpy. Then Tom and I had a long talk about Aaron. And the danger and the problems that Aaron could cause me in the future. I hate talking about that cuz then I doubt Aaron...and I hate doing THAT more than I hate being mad at him. Today sucked....totally. Only good thing was I only worked for 4 hrs...WOOOHOO! : )

on that note, im gonna sign off now. get a whole 1.5 hrs a of sleep...blah!

-Lesa

I talked to my sexy man tonight...on the phone! this is only the second time we've talked on the phone in almost two months....I love him soooooooo much! We had so much fun talking...I cant wait to talk to him tomorrow! We didnt talk about a lot...but it was fun anyway! we talked for 37 min and 8 seconds :) I LOVE YOU AARON!

-Lesa

Today was a pretty good day at school....I switched my two classes...I like my schedule much better now : ) I almost fell asleep during American Lit....We watched a powerpoint...and it was SOOOOOOOO boring! Algebra II 7th hr is SOOOO much better...Midori, the foreign exchange student from Japan is in my class...she's really cool : ) She doesnt understand English very well, so it takes awhile to explain things to her...but shes soooooo nice : )

My second day not being able to talk to Aaron...it sucks REALLY badly. I want to talk to him so badly...but he's sleeping...again. he didnt talk to me last night cuz he supposedly went to bed...but today he said he didnt get any sleep...I was NOT happy about that...he left me for Kylah...again. Makes me wanna vomit!

Well, nothing much to say....I wanna go to bed..but it's not allowed to sleep after school anymore. cuz then I'll stay up all night. :sigh: I hate living in a different timezone than Aaron! It makes things so much harder!

I love you Aaron!

-Lesa

Today was a pretty good day at school....I switched my two classes...I like my schedule much better now : ) I almost fell asleep during American Lit....We watched a powerpoint...and it was SOOOOOOOO boring! Algebra II 7th hr is SOOOO much better...Midori, the foreign exchange student from Japan is in my class...she's really cool : ) She doesnt understand English very well, so it takes awhile to explain things to her...but shes soooooo nice : )

My second day not being able to talk to Aaron...it sucks REALLY badly. I want to talk to him so badly...but he's sleeping...again. he didnt talk to me last night cuz he supposedly went to bed...but today he said he didnt get any sleep...I was NOT happy about that...he left me for Kylah...again. Makes me wanna vomit!

Well, nothing much to say....I wanna go to bed..but it's not allowed to sleep after school anymore. cuz then I'll stay up all night. :sigh: I hate living in a different timezone than Aaron! It makes things so much harder!

I love you Aaron!

-Lesa

First day of school....it actually went pretty well : ) I have some good classes this year...a lot of learning, but thats okay, cuz I'd get REALLY bored otherwise. My friend who goes to public school told me her schedule....it's such a slacker one...it'd be nice to have that, but sooooooo boring! I'm switching my 7th hr study hall and 3rd hr Algebra 2 class around...cuz right now I have 7th AND 8th hr study halls...PLUS 9th hr...yes, my school has 9 hrs.

I got left for Kyla again. Who knew a 16 yr old could be jealous of a 3 month old...but it's possible. Sometimes Aaron is such a pushover it pisses me off....TERRIBLY! But then I remember, it's HIS life, not mine. He has to live with what he does...but then again, so do I...and I hate it! I hate being left behind...especially when I need him so badly. He didnt even ask about my day....just said "Kyla's here, I gotta go for awhile" GRRRRRRR! :(

Well, I think I'm done ranting...talk tomorrow

-Lesa

So...I'm back again. I havent slept since 11:02 pm when i woke up. It's now 8:35 am...
I got really pissed off at Aaron and almost went to bed....he said he'd be back at 3:30....he wasnt back till 5:30...i sat around for three hrs waiting for him...I was watching "what a girl wants" and all of a sudden I burst out crying. I hate being mad at him....so for the last 3 hrs, we've just been sitting here...talking...being totally in love : ) I wish the summer could go on forever....it's been so magical. I never expected to fall in love...let alone to find the man I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with...Love and God are crazy like that sometimes : )
Well, I'm gonna go...cuz I'm getting REALLY sleepy!

-Lesa

Hey : ) I just got off work....a LOOOOONG 5 hrs. I only got 3 hrs of sleep. I didnt mind too much cuz I was talking to Aaron all night : ) And both my parents are gone...so woohoo! All night with Aaron! : )

Shannon is having problems with her dumb "boyfriend" He and his ex got back together....He's such a freakin loser! And she was just starting to really fall in love with him...he's such a loser...I hate the kid and I've never met him!

Aaron is sick....again. It's like over 100 degrees there and he's sick. He's been sick since he got there...I feel so badly for him! I really want him to come to WI. He said he MIGHT (big might) quit his job down there and get one up here : ) I want to see him...and kiss him...and woah...big fantasy coming on...lol! I'm a nutcase...lol...I really am : ) But I love every minute of it : )

Well, not much else to say...my life is going pretty well right now. Never mind the fact that I havent taken my meds for 4 days : ) I rolled out of bed at 10:43 am...and I had to work at 11....needless to say, I havent taken a shower...but I actually dont look that bad...lol!

Talk to you tomorrow : )

-Lesa